philosophy, quotes

how to live, according to joan

“I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment.

And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.”

five things, personal

five things (5.8.15)


1. This. When things just come to you and speak volumes, it’s kismet.

2. The sun! This weather! It makes me so happy. Really; it’s the little things, and when everything else feels grey and stagnant or hopeless, the sun is everything to me. Girl just wants the D! (You know, the vitamin.) It was 80-something degrees this past week and in all my excitement, I finally had the courage to try on the iconic, if not infamous, “Mazzy” one-piece. You guys—I feel as if I look like some cross between an exotic beetle and a lost member of the Avengers. So basically, a superbug. A sexy superbug. (It is mostly a good thing.)

3. Even with hope of summer soon, I’ve been stuck.

It’d be easy to write off this ‘lull’ as just a phase and attribute it to a routine creative block brought on by some tidal pull of the moon or the Mercury in retrograde. Or, perhaps I should chalk it up to a “perfectly normal” post-graduation, 20-something crisis, but really it’s me that’s the source of this funk. (#YouKnowYouLiveInMuricaWhenYouBlameEverythingButYourself) Because until I break the chain, the cycle will forever remain as is, in status quo.

And that’s the problem: complacency. If not for the sun and glorious weather, I’d feel even more inclined to sit at home (at my new desk, though!) and do nothing. Well, not nothing per se, just nothing new. I’m barely sleeping. I’m exhausted after work. I have no desire—nor motivation—to move. Use it or lose it, I guess; I used to crave movement and now? I’m feeling lethargic, uninspired, inadequate.

I need to get out of my own  head.

Part of it has to do with a change in diet. From mostly plant-based and raw (not ’til four yet, just ’til 2 p.m. unfortunately) coupled with frequent, regular rehearsals or nights out dancing for a cardio kick, I’ve regressed to eating whatever (pescatarian), whenever. I haven’t gained or lost weight, but the change in my body is apparent to me. I’m not getting the proper nutrients my body needs, and a winter of hibernation has me severely lacking Vitamin D. All these (poor) lifestyle habits are, without doubt, contributing to my blah mood but at the crux of it, I’ve been lazy because I’m too comfortable. Being in one place, having the same routine sans challenge or newness or excitement, surrounded by the same people—it’s suffocating. I think I crave space but really, it’s change that I desperately need. I’ve fallen into this pattern of settling. Things are stagnant. I’m stagnant. I’m just doing and being rather than growing and living.

I’m itching for change. It’s spring. I’m ready.

4. Slightly related, but a little less heavy: let’s talk retail therapy for a moment. It’s no permanent fix, but trust: it works… so long as you’re strategic about it. Feeling sad or stuck in a funk, however, is no excuse for being reckless with my financials.

Contrary to what my mother thinks, I don’t impulse buy when I’m a retail therapy spree. Instead, I treat myself to things I’ve been wish-listing forever, things I need and will make me feel good. Practical things (or as practical as things get for an aesthete because really, we don’t need anything except food, shelter, clothing, love, movement) like basics I don’t yet have or need to replace; books; or lingerie. In fact, you can tell the state of my mind by the number of books. In fact, periods of sadness and/or feeling stuck are marked by book and underwear hauls. Books, to help re-invigorate and get me out of said funk, and pretty lingerie for some much-needed self-love.

5. This week’s mantra, courtesy of Danielle LaPorte:

Absolutely everything is progress. I have everything I need in this moment to move to the next moment.”

.   .   .

Missed last week’s ‘Five Things?’ Read it here.


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